Thinking on Your Feet & Theirs
Sharpening the lives and worldview of our young ones and ours!!!
Growing up in an adventurous family structure under a brilliant, vibrant and witty father was one of the best things that would ever happen to a growing inquisitive child. Widely known to be painfully analytical and technical about everything, I was both loved, cherished and guarded. No one knew what I was going to do or say next and would always watch out to know.
As a child, I was so engaged. Be it work around the house, farming out in the hot sun or chilly harmattan. Be it helping in some mud house construction, digging a well or anything else other children would carefully chicken away from. Be it our childhood sports of soccer, sprint, high jump, tennis, tree climbing, some of the riskier engagements of the outdoors.
Within that timid adolescent mind, I always thought that life was fun and full of interesting mysteries that must be seen and enjoyed. Everyone’s ways and approach to things presented some interesting dimension that I always picked a thought or two and must say a word. I was curious, annoying, sarcastic and relatable, all in one.
If it doesn’t make sense to me or solve a known problem, I am no part of it. Getting me to do stuff by peers, adults or authority figures would always be a tedious adventure for many people around me. Everyone had to work harder to sell an idea, engage in a conversation and advance a cause that other kids would accept and follow without question.
I grew bold, smart, overly interested, and curious on the one hand over everything and before everyone. On the other hand, I was considered timid and painfully shy at home, school, and the entire community. But witty and cunning.
Whereas my curious, analytical mind won me the love and admiration of everyone, sometimes it got me into trouble in school, as well as with older cousins, other adults, and authority figures who would not be questioned or interrogated for their decisions. To me, it’s about clarity and getting things done, and rightly so. Is it always useful, threatening, or pleasantly annoying? Exhausting to many folks, highly cherished and rewarded by life and society in so many ways!
I had almost been beaten and punished in school for questioning a teacher’s decision to punish a student or a class; almost punished for correcting his/her grammar or Math. This personality trait grew to become my strength and staying power, almost in everything and everywhere I have been in life. Through school, college days and national service, Christian ministry, and professional practice, and even though all my days as a father, a husband, and lonesome divorcee, life has been filled with moments when this gift is unmistakably handy and moments when it is troubling.
I remember a day when I got a most revered and distinguished professor to walk out of the lecture hall because I had questioned his poise and methodology in the middle of an ongoing lecture. “Sir, please, pardon! If you have nothing for the class today, I’d prefer that you please leave the hall, and we can continue another time”. This is how direct and how blunt “this kid” could be, anywhere, anytime; but with much love, respect, and a rare sense of authenticity, that people you’d think would kill me for things like these had instead invited me to places and positions of sure resource and upgraded viability.
My parents and siblings were not spared. You have to get it right. Do the right thing and say the right thing all the time. Well, that used to be a thing many years ago. They called it style, integrity, refinement, and class. These days, perception, value, and ambient definition of life has changed.
In my ordinary logical self, I would have needed more information as to why the early-morning shocker with my Mom and siblings at this time, the troubling epiphany, and all the coded statements from both Mom and my sister Patricia. Everyone already knows what would have been my response and the outcome of getting Steve involved.
To continue
